a blog virgin (sort of)

well, not really. i've been blogging for a really long time, even before 'blogging' became a hip buzzword that everyone became aware of. ive done the live journal thing (since 2002 i want to say?) and have a blog on myspace, but my writing is all over the place and i want one central spot to store it all (besides the countless finished paper journals i have scattered around my bedroom). so hence the need to start this.

i am exhausted. it was my 24th birthday last night, and even though i sort of took it easy (it was a weeknight), i am tired today. my eyes are drooping and i am wearing my glasses and all i want to do is curl up in my down comforter and sleep the day away. i'm in one of those moods. those sad, 'i am getting old' moods. i know it sounds odd, but i really do feel OLD. for the first time in my life, i feel like an adult. like a grown up who is supposed to have it all together and all figured out.

i mean, for the most part, i feel pretty happy with where i am in my life. i have a TERRIFIC job, simply wonderful in terms of what i'm doing and what i CAN do and how i can grow there, a pretty decent apartment in the suburbs, a great roommate (she's my best friend) and just overall a good and happy life. i'm healthy, i'm in good shape, what's to complain about, right?

you know what i'm going to complain about. in fact, i dont even have to say it here b/c you already know. and if you don't, you can take a guess. what's the one area/topic i didn't mention in the last paragraph?

RELATIONSHIPS.

in fact, last sunday, after walking from my car to his hug in the parking lot to my apartment, i said to myself "i am so fucked up."

and it's the truth.